Answers, by Random (PG)

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Rec Category: Sam and Daniel friendship

Pairing: none
Categories: Sam and Daniel friendship, Samantha Carter, Daniel Jackson, episode related, angst, character study
Warnings: none
Author on LJ: randomfreshink
Author's Website:
Link: currently offline

Why This Must Be Read: And here's the second fic in the Sam-and-Daniel-post-descension category :) Daniel's memories aren't quite there yet for this one…

Sam and Daniel, driving in a car, having a painfully, passionately honest conversation: Why did Daniel appear to Jack and Teal'c when their lives were at stake during S6, but not to Sam when she nearly died?

The topic comes up slowly, carefully. The story, told almost entirely from Sam's POV, is highlighted by Random's usual beauty of prose and delicious insight into characterization. Even as the two of them discuss Daniel's slowly returning memories and how he's fitting back into place, Sam is struggling to control her emotions. She's hurt by not only her exclusion, but how she found out about it; to her mind, she's not only unworthy of Daniel's time, but also unworthy of Jack and Teal'c's trust, since she had to find out about it in a formal debriefing.

Once Daniel finally comprehends just what is causing Sam so much distress, it's so… well, Daniel to watch how, even without clear memories, he assesses his teammates' characters and draws the logical conclusions. By the time Sam and Daniel have finished their drive, Daniel has helped Sam understand why Teal'c and Jack apparently "shut her out" from his appearances – and then he gives her the final key, with a wonderfully unique twist into exactly why she hadn't been alone.

"Do you remember anything of...of after that yet?"

"Well, uh, actually--no.  I think...well, maybe Oma had a reason to take that part of me.  The ascended memories, I mean.  Maybe it's to keep me from, well, making more mistakes.  And maybe the rest was just...taken because it was attached?"

He sounded miserable about it, uncertain why he'd been stripped of himself, hurting for a loss he might never realize because how did you miss something when you couldn't remember what it was.  And he'd know that.  She couldn't bear it, wanted to give him something--anything--and she was afraid that under her altruism was the hope she'd jog his memories, maybe give him one back that would help her understand why she'd been singled out for his neglect.

She was the one he hadn't come to help.

Pitiful that she ached for it, that she couldn't just keep smiling.  But she'd nearly died a few times and had seen--nothing.  Just the end of her life.  He didn't need to know that, however.  Didn't need the burden of her feelings on top of his own.  He did need to know he hadn't just been floating around being useless.

"While you were--well, you helped Teal'c and the colonel.  You came when they needed you most."

"Really?"

She glanced at him, shocked he'd mirrored her one question from the briefing of a few months ago, but they'd always been too much alike in some ways.  And then he showed the difference between them as he dove into questions without hesitation.

"When?  What did I do?  Did they tell you about it?"

Her mouth twisted, pulled down.  "Not exactly."

"Ah--they, uh, weren't sure they'd really seen me, were they?"

"How did you--?"

"It's obvious, Sam.  Military mind-set.  See, assess, label, then shoot or ignore, based on threat or non-threat.  Dead person showing up--pretty hard to assess that one and the obvious label is insanity or delusion, so why not opt for it being a delusion since that has a chance of going away.  And either of them would just about rather die than admit there's more to life than threats and non-threats."

"Is that how you think I'd see it?"

"No, Sam.  You'd have made it scientific inquiry.  But you...oh.  Oh, Sam."