stargateficrec | "The John Sheppard Owner's Guide" by SGAFan (PG-13)

Since this is my last rec of the month: "and now for something completely different."

Rec Category: Character: John Sheppard
Pairing: N/A
Category: Humor
Warning: Suggestive Humor
Author on LJ: I believe this is

sgafan
Author's Website: SGAfan is the Minister of Fandom and Honorary Member of The M.A.J.O.R. and offers that for a website link at FF.net Author's Site
Link: Sheppard Owner's Guide

Why This Must Be Read: This is just a fun and funny little parody piece. It is actually an amusing way to write about John Sheppard, and does explore several traits in a comedic way.

F. WARNINGS:

a. Self-Sacrificing Tendencies:

Under no circumstances should you ever expose your MAJOR JOHN SHEPPARD to a potentially hopeless situation! Your MAJOR JOHN SHEPPARD has a strong sense of valor and equally strong self-sacrificing tendencies. When faced with any hopeless or potentially hopeless situation, your MAJOR JOHN SHEPPARD may utter the words “I have to and you know it.” If you hear these words, do not hesitate to tackle your MAJOR JOHN SHEPPARD and restrain him until the situation has passed. Your MAJOR JOHN SHEPPARD will sacrifice himself (or attempt to do so) if he believes it’s the only chance to save you or anyone close to you.

If your MAJOR JOHN SHEPPARD in Self-Sacrificing Mode gets away from you, he can be saved through the application of a DAEDALUS equipped with ASGARD BEAMING TECHNOLOGY (sold separately). Many of our owners, because of their deep affection for their MAJOR JOHN SHEPPARD, have opted to purchase a DAEDALUS equipped with ASGARD BEAMING TECHNOLOGY (sold separately) in case of emergency.

NOTE: The presence of a PUDDLE JUMPER, while providing enhanced opportunities for your MAJOR JOHN SHEPPARD to take you for enjoyable rides, will increase the chances of your MAJOR JOHN SHEPPARD entering Self-Sacrificing Mode. Exercise Caution!

Sheppard Owner's Guide