Cold Around the Edges by out_there (R)

[dkwilliams.livejournal.com]

Rec Category: Character - Radek Zelenka
Pairing: Zelenka/McKay
Category: AU, Slash, Angst
Warning: Slash, Character Death
Author on LJ: out_there
Author's Website: http://www.livejournal.com/users/out_there/
Link: http://www.wraithbait.com/viewstory.php?sid=4564

Why This Must Be Read:
There are many, many things I like about this story. First, as this is written from Zelenka's POV, you get an interesting perspective of Rodney and why Zelenka puts up with him. Secondly, it deals with Zelenka's canon attraction to Elizabeth and his in-story attraction to Rodney in a way that makes sense, rather than just ignoring canon. And thirdly, the situation itself is just so well drawn up that I could imagine this actually happening on the show (well, without the man-sex, although I'd pay to see that myself...) The writing itself conveys the pervasive sense of cold and despair, with a faint flicker of hope, and although I avoid death-fics like the plague, this one really doesn't feel like one to me.


Excerpt:
For a moment, he's tempted to get out pen and paper, and write to his family: to his parents, to his three brothers, to his nephews and nieces. He wants to tell them about this beautiful place, about the majesty and wonder in every corridor. He wants to tell them about the city rising out of the waters, like a phoenix, like a miracle, like the granting of their most desperate wish. How water poured from spirals and towers, revealing color and light, beauty and hope. How their terror turned to awe.

He wants to tell them that he doesn't regret coming here. That it's been horrifying and scary, that he's always been half-sure that he'll die galaxies away from anywhere he's called home, but it's also been amazing, fulfilling on a soul-deep level. It's made him thankful for his life -- for his opportunities, for this place, for his potential -- in a way that safe laboratories on Earth never could.

He wants to say all this and more, but he doesn't. Partly because he doesn't have the words -- not in any language -- to be able to objectively write and accurately describe this marvel, and partly because they have a limited supply of paper and pens. A personal message is not the best use of scarce resources. Especially when they have no way to send it.