WWZD by Karen T (PG-13)

[pulsar4529.livejournal.com]

Rec Category: Gen
Pairing: None
Category: SG1, gen, action/adventure, humor
Warning: mild violence
Author on LJ:poohmusings
Author's Website:poohmusings's scribbles
Link:WWZD

Why This Must Be Read:

This is a funny team fic as SG1 deal with being a bad situation. They have to attempt to get off the planet after negotiations go badly. The ending is what really makes this story perfect.

Oh, did I mention that zombies are chasing them?



"But how could they ... I mean, aren't ... Zombies?" Poor Carter looked like her recently rescued brains were tying themselves into knots as they attempted to make sense of their current predicament.

"Oh, I have a feeling Daniel might have some more information on that," Jack declared. "Right, Daniel?"

"They never mentioned zombies!" he insisted. Then his shoulders slumped a bit and he gave an off-kilter, somewhat apologetic half-smile. "At least not specifically. The Zzyses mentioned that a god -- who I assumed to be a minor System Lord -- used to rule over them with an iron fist and kept people in line through witchcraft. They said this god had the ability to kill a man's soul but keep his body alive. I thought we might be dealing with something like Nirrti's DNA machine, but I guess ... not."

You're a regular Sherlock," Jack sneered.

"But the zombies do explain why the Zzyses were so desperate for our brains," Daniel continued, undeterred by Jack's sullen comment. "They probably figured that giving the zombies our brains would take the heat off them for a while. And when we refused, they got mad and decided to chase us into the zombies' territory."

"Fantastic. That's some inspired negotiating you did." Jack scrubbed at his face with his hands and ran through the options they had at their disposal. It didn't take him very long to do so because they were supremely screwed. "I don't know how much longer that door's going to hold, but I'm thinking we better put our brains to good use and figure out a way to get them and us back home, intact. Anyone have any brilliant ideas?"

If it were possible to hear crickets chirping over the sound of the whining, slobbering zombies outside, then Jack was sure the noise would have filled the room.

Double crap.