Drowning by AerynSG1

[million-moments.livejournal.com]

Rec Category: Angst
Pairing: Sam/Jack
Category: Sam Carter, Angst
Warning: Attempted Suicide
Author on LJ: N/A
Author's Website: Gatefic
Link: Drowning

Why this must be read: This is a very Sam centric fic, with some Sam/Jack but also some wonderful friendship moments between Sam and the rest of the team. Something she really needs in this fic. Sam is suffering in this fic, not surprising considering she is just human, and this details in a powerful way her spiraling downwards. But also, how the people she knows and who love her, can help her through. This review doesn't do it justice, so I am including a snippet.




You’re not quite sure when it started; seems like it’s been forever.

It might have been when you had to put your cat to sleep. Yeah, yeah, it’s just a cat, fourteen years is a long time for an animal – but still.

You’d had him almost since before you’d left the Academy; your boyfriend at the time had shown up at the door with a scrawny little thing that looked like a drowned rat.

You kept the cat and lost the boyfriend.

You’d dragged him around the country, occasionally dumping him with friends and family when the need arose; but he always forgave you, settling in again and sleeping up against your back, staring out the windows, sitting on your desk as you worked watching the pointer on the screen and batting at it.

He didn’t even care that you never named him – ‘Cat’ was just fine with him.

So a few months ago he was diagnosed with feline leukemia. This, combined with his age, said the vet, was not good. The vet preferred he be put down immediately.

You ask if you can take him home and do it yourself.

So, that evening, you sit on your couch with him across your lap. You stroke him gently, listening intently to every pitiful purr and speaking to him softly. Then you take out the syringe and inject him quickly and expertly, and hold him tightly while the light fades from his once bright eyes.

You tell him goodbye and you’re sorry.

You don’t cry.

You bury him in the backyard in a hole you’ve already dug, thinking, for some reason, of your mother, then you go to bed. Work tomorrow.

You don’t tell anyone what’s happened. As politically correct and ‘sensitive’ and enlightened as the Air Force is supposed to be these days, you know nobody will understand how much it hurts to lose a friend like that.

You work.

Comments

[connorblue.livejournal.com]

That was a really good fic. Thanks for the rec!