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stargateficrecShows: SGA
Rec Category: Humor
Characters: John Sheppard/Rodney McKay, Ronon Dex, Teyla Emmagan/Michael Kenmore (in background)
Categories: M/M
Words: 2881
Warnings: no AO3 warnings apply
Author on DW:trinityofone
Author's Website: trinityofone on AO3
Link: Missionary Position on AO3
Why This Must Be Read: This is set at the end of S2 with Rodney and Ronon prisoners on the Wraith hiveship headed for Earth. In a desperate bid to survive, Rodney tries to persuade the Wraith to embrace the joys of being converted to humans instead of invading Earth, with a sex-ed talk. Clever, funny, and an excellent read.
“Christ, do you not even get a moment of happy time before the queen sucks you dry?”
“The queen begins the process of draining her mate the moment penetration is achieved,” the Wraith recited blandly, like it had learned it in school—and there was something Rodney had never wanted to think about: Wraith sex ed.
Um. Aside from the class he was currently teaching, that is.
“Right, but for humans,” he emphasized, figuring the Wraith needed the reminder, “orgasms are—well, pretty much the best thing ever.”
“Yup,” said Ronon.
“What does it feel like?” asked the Wraith.
Well, that was the only problem: it was really hard to describe. Rodney’s brain scrambled; for a moment, all he could think of was his idiot secondary school health teacher, going on and on about “crashing waves of ever-increasing size...”
“Like you feel so good you can’t stand it, like your whole body is going to break apart from it,” Ronon said.
“Right!” said Rodney, impressed. “La petite mort—that’s what the French call it. ‘The little death.’ Which, like most French things, is kind of melodramatic, but it’s also—yeah. It’s like being shattered and put back together again, all at once. There’s nothing, nothing, so passionate. So intense.”
“And humans,” the Wraith said, “you have many orgasms?”
“Tons!” said Rodney
Rec Category: Humor
Characters: John Sheppard/Rodney McKay, Ronon Dex, Teyla Emmagan/Michael Kenmore (in background)
Categories: M/M
Words: 2881
Warnings: no AO3 warnings apply
Author on DW:
trinityofoneAuthor's Website: trinityofone on AO3
Link: Missionary Position on AO3
Why This Must Be Read: This is set at the end of S2 with Rodney and Ronon prisoners on the Wraith hiveship headed for Earth. In a desperate bid to survive, Rodney tries to persuade the Wraith to embrace the joys of being converted to humans instead of invading Earth, with a sex-ed talk. Clever, funny, and an excellent read.
“Christ, do you not even get a moment of happy time before the queen sucks you dry?”
“The queen begins the process of draining her mate the moment penetration is achieved,” the Wraith recited blandly, like it had learned it in school—and there was something Rodney had never wanted to think about: Wraith sex ed.
Um. Aside from the class he was currently teaching, that is.
“Right, but for humans,” he emphasized, figuring the Wraith needed the reminder, “orgasms are—well, pretty much the best thing ever.”
“Yup,” said Ronon.
“What does it feel like?” asked the Wraith.
Well, that was the only problem: it was really hard to describe. Rodney’s brain scrambled; for a moment, all he could think of was his idiot secondary school health teacher, going on and on about “crashing waves of ever-increasing size...”
“Like you feel so good you can’t stand it, like your whole body is going to break apart from it,” Ronon said.
“Right!” said Rodney, impressed. “La petite mort—that’s what the French call it. ‘The little death.’ Which, like most French things, is kind of melodramatic, but it’s also—yeah. It’s like being shattered and put back together again, all at once. There’s nothing, nothing, so passionate. So intense.”
“And humans,” the Wraith said, “you have many orgasms?”
“Tons!” said Rodney
