stargateficrec | Brownie Points by kisahawklin (E)

Show: SGA
Rec Category: Team
Characters: Rodney McKay/John Sheppard/Ronon Dex/Teyla Emmagan
Categories: M/M, M/F
Words: 8925
Warnings: No AO3 warnings apply
Author on DW:

kate
Author's Website: Kisahawklin on AO3
Link: Brownie Points on AO3
Why This Must Be Read: This is as much AMTDI as Team, and although it's a foursome it's more about teamwork than eroticism. On an unexpectedly tricky off-world mission, the team have to make a sex tape for their hosts in order to pay a toll for having used the stargate. They're given an instruction manual with numerous positions which are worth varying numbers of points. Enter Rodney, who then computes which configurations of fucking, sucking, etc will earn them the most points in the way most acceptable to them all. It's amusing as an unusually astute Rodney tries to explain all this to John, who almost has an aneurysm, whereas Teyla and Ronon are much more matter-of-fact. It's almost more like naked Twister than a sex scene - good fun, and cleverly figured out.

"So. Combining the one point for check in and the two points for the MALP, then we need to do three separate sex acts. We get a point for Teyla being pregnant," Rodney said, glancing at her, and Teyla smiled as if she was pleased, "so if you go down on her while she’s laying back on Ronon, that's three points right there." Rodney glanced over at John, and even though John had very carefully arranged his face to remain neutral, something fired in Rodney's brain.

"Oh god. You don't know how to get a woman off." Rodney made it a statement of fact, and John tamped down on his first, blindly violent reaction.

"Yes I do," John said coldly, and before he could defend himself further, Rodney was off on a ramble, and John was left helplessly trying to catch up.

"No, I mean with your mouth, and of course you wouldn't bother to learn how to do that, you have women throwing themselves at you, you probably don't have to do more than smile at them." John opened his mouth to say something, anything, but the entire English language left him. "Fine, I'll teach you, but you better credit me every time you do it from now on."