Choice, by esteefee (M)
Apr. 18th, 2021 01:38 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
logicgunn posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
stargateficrec<b>Show: SGA
Rec Category: Rodney McKay/John Sheppard
Characters: John Sheppard, Rodney McKay, Carson Beckett, Teyla Emmagan
Pairings: Rodney McKay/John Sheppard
Categories: Slash
Warnings: None
Words: ~4k
Author's Journal:esteefee
Author's Website: esteefee
Link: Choice
Why This Must Be Read: This is not your standard mpreg fic, and it's not your standard abortion fic either. It's one of the most incredible fics I've ever read. I've already articulated my feelings on it in a comment, so I'm going to copy-paste that here.
***
So this is one of my favourite fics of all time, and you put it in your Tumblr interview, so I had to come back and read it for the 20th time.
John's feelings regarding pregnancy echo my own. The idea of making space in my body (and mind) for something to grow is anathema to me, and it's so hard to articulate that feeling but you do it beautifully. The misguided idea that pregnancy and childbirth are innate to a woman's life journey cloud people's judgement oftentimes, and taking that femaleness away and showing all of the complexity of the feelings and fears in John, and of course Rodney, as men, illustrate it perfectly. This is one of those fics that everyone should read, (especially anyone who has power over anyone's body autonomy) because it takes those clouded judgements away and presents it as a pure human experience. It would be difficult for someone to misinterpret anything in this fic.
I love how John is so firm in his feelings of wrongness, and yet still faces the emotional consequence of his choice, because it's not an all-or-nothing topic. You can make the right choice for you and still have regrets over it, whether you chose to terminate a pregnancy or bring it to term. Rodney's objections are twofold (being his child and a scientific miracle), but his genuine love for John and need for him to be happy and safe (mentally and physically, but especially mentally) and his support for John's choice (his right and his ability to make that choice) are so touchingly painful and poignant. It was so important for Rodney to have permission from John to have his feelings on the matter, because even though it's ultimately John's choice, Rodney's feelings do matter. I love how when Rodney suddenly understands John's feelings he goes from zero to fix-it in the blink of an eye because of course Rodney will do anything for John, even if it involves legal and practical backflips to make it happen.
"And now he'd have to carry it always." is the most painful line I've ever read in any kind of literature. It's a pain that John is completely unprepared for, should never have had to experience and has no context for. And I'm glad you wrote some resistance from Carson, because there is always resistance from somewhere, no matter who you are or where you're from, someone somewhere wants to dictate your bodily autonomy if you can bear children and you're going to have to try to not punch them.
***
"Cut it out of me. Right now." He wiped his palms on shirt.
Beckett suddenly went from compassionate mode to looking shocked and a little queasy. "Colonel..."
"I mean it. You're a surgeon, aren't you? Cut it out of me or I'll radio Ronon to do it. He's got knives. Really sharp knives."
And John was almost serious, that was the sad thing. Jesus Christ. He was trembling.
"Colonel, we don't have any idea what we're dealing with here. This is unprecedented." There was an unholy gleam in Beckett's eyes that John really didn't like the look of.
He dropped his voice to a deadly whisper. "Oh, I think we do. It's a tumor, right? A bunch of cells where no cells have any business existing, and I want them out of me, right now. Right fucking now."
Rec Category: Rodney McKay/John Sheppard
Characters: John Sheppard, Rodney McKay, Carson Beckett, Teyla Emmagan
Pairings: Rodney McKay/John Sheppard
Categories: Slash
Warnings: None
Words: ~4k
Author's Journal:
esteefeeAuthor's Website: esteefee
Link: Choice
Why This Must Be Read: This is not your standard mpreg fic, and it's not your standard abortion fic either. It's one of the most incredible fics I've ever read. I've already articulated my feelings on it in a comment, so I'm going to copy-paste that here.
***
So this is one of my favourite fics of all time, and you put it in your Tumblr interview, so I had to come back and read it for the 20th time.
John's feelings regarding pregnancy echo my own. The idea of making space in my body (and mind) for something to grow is anathema to me, and it's so hard to articulate that feeling but you do it beautifully. The misguided idea that pregnancy and childbirth are innate to a woman's life journey cloud people's judgement oftentimes, and taking that femaleness away and showing all of the complexity of the feelings and fears in John, and of course Rodney, as men, illustrate it perfectly. This is one of those fics that everyone should read, (especially anyone who has power over anyone's body autonomy) because it takes those clouded judgements away and presents it as a pure human experience. It would be difficult for someone to misinterpret anything in this fic.
I love how John is so firm in his feelings of wrongness, and yet still faces the emotional consequence of his choice, because it's not an all-or-nothing topic. You can make the right choice for you and still have regrets over it, whether you chose to terminate a pregnancy or bring it to term. Rodney's objections are twofold (being his child and a scientific miracle), but his genuine love for John and need for him to be happy and safe (mentally and physically, but especially mentally) and his support for John's choice (his right and his ability to make that choice) are so touchingly painful and poignant. It was so important for Rodney to have permission from John to have his feelings on the matter, because even though it's ultimately John's choice, Rodney's feelings do matter. I love how when Rodney suddenly understands John's feelings he goes from zero to fix-it in the blink of an eye because of course Rodney will do anything for John, even if it involves legal and practical backflips to make it happen.
"And now he'd have to carry it always." is the most painful line I've ever read in any kind of literature. It's a pain that John is completely unprepared for, should never have had to experience and has no context for. And I'm glad you wrote some resistance from Carson, because there is always resistance from somewhere, no matter who you are or where you're from, someone somewhere wants to dictate your bodily autonomy if you can bear children and you're going to have to try to not punch them.
***
"Cut it out of me. Right now." He wiped his palms on shirt.
Beckett suddenly went from compassionate mode to looking shocked and a little queasy. "Colonel..."
"I mean it. You're a surgeon, aren't you? Cut it out of me or I'll radio Ronon to do it. He's got knives. Really sharp knives."
And John was almost serious, that was the sad thing. Jesus Christ. He was trembling.
"Colonel, we don't have any idea what we're dealing with here. This is unprecedented." There was an unholy gleam in Beckett's eyes that John really didn't like the look of.
He dropped his voice to a deadly whisper. "Oh, I think we do. It's a tumor, right? A bunch of cells where no cells have any business existing, and I want them out of me, right now. Right fucking now."
no subject
Date: 2021-04-18 09:14 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-04-18 09:16 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-04-18 09:38 pm (UTC)Thank you so much, you really made my afternoon.