The Protection Racket (by Pares) (E)
Jan. 31st, 2020 07:01 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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stargateficrecShow: SGA
Rec Category: AU
Characters: Rodney McKay/John Sheppard, Jack O'Neill, Sam Carter
Categories: M/M
Warnings: Nil
Author on DW:pares
Author's Website: See the AO3
Link: The Protection Racket on AO3
Why This Must Be Read: This one's an antidote for my last, darker rec. Rodney panics and decides Jack O'Neill's going to kill him after being caught playing strip poker with Sam, and hires John as a bodyguard. Hi-jinks ensue! It's cracky and an excellent read, with a gradually-developing relationship. The AU aspect is that John isn't in the Stargate program at the fic's start. Lots of fun.
"Uh, it's kind of late for a business call, isn't it?" Rodney's laptop told him it was 11:31 PM Mountain Daylight Time.
"It's a job! Your ad said any job! I assume that sometimes there are jobs that take place on the night shift? I can give you a small cash advance but you'll have to wait a few days until I can access my off-shore accounts and amass some solid capital." A thought occurred to him. "You wouldn't happen to have a bulletproof vest, would you?"
"Are you saying that you're afraid your boyfriend will shoot you?"
"What? No! No, god, no, of course not. He's not my boyfriend. He's Sam's."
"So... you're afraid your boyfriend's boyfriend will shoot you?"
"Look, you're getting the wrong idea here. I may have been caught in a compromising position with one Samantha Carter, but Lorne tells me that O'Neill is infamous for his jealousy and I'd really like to not have my lungs ripped out. Because believe me, if O'Neill can't do it, Teal'c can."
"Okay. Look, buddy, have you considered calling the cops?"
"Are you kidding me? I bet O'Neill owns the police in this town. I need protection! So again, do you have a bulletproof vest or what? Wait, maybe you should bring one for yourself. I mean, yes, I'm sure you'll gladly take a bullet for what I'll be paying you, but I imagine you'd prefer to be alive to spend it."
"What gave you the idea that I was some kind of bodyguard, Mr. McKay?"
"Doctor McKay, and your ad was... very open ended."
There was a considerable pause on the end of the line, and Rodney was just about to wash his hands of the whole thing when the guy said, "It just so happens that I have a bulletproof vest. Two, even."
"How about weapons?"
"I have a whole bag of golf clubs," the guy offered.
Rec Category: AU
Characters: Rodney McKay/John Sheppard, Jack O'Neill, Sam Carter
Categories: M/M
Warnings: Nil
Author on DW:
pares Author's Website: See the AO3
Link: The Protection Racket on AO3
Why This Must Be Read: This one's an antidote for my last, darker rec. Rodney panics and decides Jack O'Neill's going to kill him after being caught playing strip poker with Sam, and hires John as a bodyguard. Hi-jinks ensue! It's cracky and an excellent read, with a gradually-developing relationship. The AU aspect is that John isn't in the Stargate program at the fic's start. Lots of fun.
"Uh, it's kind of late for a business call, isn't it?" Rodney's laptop told him it was 11:31 PM Mountain Daylight Time.
"It's a job! Your ad said any job! I assume that sometimes there are jobs that take place on the night shift? I can give you a small cash advance but you'll have to wait a few days until I can access my off-shore accounts and amass some solid capital." A thought occurred to him. "You wouldn't happen to have a bulletproof vest, would you?"
"Are you saying that you're afraid your boyfriend will shoot you?"
"What? No! No, god, no, of course not. He's not my boyfriend. He's Sam's."
"So... you're afraid your boyfriend's boyfriend will shoot you?"
"Look, you're getting the wrong idea here. I may have been caught in a compromising position with one Samantha Carter, but Lorne tells me that O'Neill is infamous for his jealousy and I'd really like to not have my lungs ripped out. Because believe me, if O'Neill can't do it, Teal'c can."
"Okay. Look, buddy, have you considered calling the cops?"
"Are you kidding me? I bet O'Neill owns the police in this town. I need protection! So again, do you have a bulletproof vest or what? Wait, maybe you should bring one for yourself. I mean, yes, I'm sure you'll gladly take a bullet for what I'll be paying you, but I imagine you'd prefer to be alive to spend it."
"What gave you the idea that I was some kind of bodyguard, Mr. McKay?"
"Doctor McKay, and your ad was... very open ended."
There was a considerable pause on the end of the line, and Rodney was just about to wash his hands of the whole thing when the guy said, "It just so happens that I have a bulletproof vest. Two, even."
"How about weapons?"
"I have a whole bag of golf clubs," the guy offered.
