stargateficrec | Explosions by nixa

Show: SGA

Rec Category: Humour
Characters: Rodney McKay, John Sheppard, Teyla Emmagen, Aiden Ford, Elizabeth Weir
Pairings: McKay/Sheppard, Teyla/Ford
Categories: Slash, Alternate Universe, Humour, First Time, Action
Warnings: Um, kidnapping... sort of.
Author on LJ:

nixa_jane
Author's Website: nixa_jane's fanfiction
Link: Explosions

Why This Must Be Read:
Author's summary: "It's like suddenly I'm in a James Bond movie. Only I'm a Bond girl and not 007."

Although I've already recced one story by nixa_jane this month, I just couldn't resist reccing a second. What can I say, this author just makes me laugh. This particular story had me from the summary. It's an AU that feature Rodney as a self-made genius billionaire and John as a bartender Rodney meets when trying to drown his sorrows over a break-up with Katie Brown. The rest of this story is a whirlwind of events that Rodney manages to sweep a bewildered and somehow charmed-despite-himself John into. Also includes a cameo appearance by the best comedy duo in several galaxies: Daniel Jackson and Jack O'Neill, appearing as police officers who seemingly learned everything they know from the Keystone Cops. This is a thoroughly enjoyable read, so go check it out!

Obviously still annoyed with him, Teyla only flashed him one quick grim smile that promised retribution before flying out the door, nearly knocking over the man trying to get inside.

"Hey, watch it!" the guy shouted after her.

John stifled a laugh as Teyla turned her gaze on him, and he promptly shut his mouth. John was glad to see he wasn't the only one scared of her. The man trudged over to the bar before sitting down with a sigh. "Give me the good stuff," he said.

John couldn't help it, he laughed. "The good stuff?" he asked, leaning across the bar next to him. "Everything's good here."

The man finally turned to look at him, giving him a quick once-over before sighing. "Whiskey then, I guess," he said dejectedly. "Or maybe you could just hit me over the head with the bottle, so I can skip right to the part where I pass out."

John smiled wryly. "Bad day, huh?"

"Your powers of observation are astounding," he snapped.

"Comes with the territory," John said, giving a wise little nod as he reached down to prepare the drink.

The man glared at him a little, before visibly slouching with desolation. "I did everything," he said, sounding horribly pathetic. "Everything, all of it, you know? I even said to her, red, for the love of god just get them in red, and you know what she does? She goes and leaves a dear John message with my secretary. Can't even say to my face, come up to me and say, 'Rodney, I'm leaving you for my personal trainer.'"

John raised his eyebrows. "She left you for her personal trainer?" he asked. "I'd better give you a double."

Rodney leaned across the bar, grabbing John's arm desperately. "You're a good man," he said.

John watched him suspiciously, tugging his arm away. "Are you sure you're not already drunk?"

"I may have had some champagne on the way here," Rodney confided in him, and John noticed for the first time that his voice was slurring. "Like a bottle or two."

John pursed his lips. "You were drinking and driving?"

"Oh no," Rodney said, giving him that look of outraged offense that can only be managed by the hopelessly drunk. "My limo's got a fridge."

"Just checking," John said, before glancing out the door. Sure enough there was a limo parked in front of his bar. He turned back to Rodney. "If you have a fridge in your limo, why are you here paying for drinks?"

"Atmosphere," Rodney slurred, "so I can sulk. And also, because I drank everything."

He reached out and snatched the whiskey away when he realized John was reluctant to give it to him, and then quickly drank it down. John sighed, glancing around for someone sane, but the couple in the back was making out now and he was left to deal with the crazy rich man on his own.

"Can I tell you a secret?" Rodney whispered, leaning across to him again.

John gave a long suffering sigh. "Everyone else does," he said.

Rodney grinned dopily. "I didn't even really like her," he whispered, and then promptly fell off his barstool.