Unidentified, by fiercelydreamed (Teen & Up)

[brumeier.livejournal.com]

Show: Stargate Atlantis

Rec Category: John/Rodney
Pairing: John/Rodney
Characters: Carson, Jeannie, Teyla, Ronon, Laura
Categories: AU, amnesia
Warnings: none
Author on LJ: fiercelydreamed
Link: Unidentified

Why this must be read: I absolutely adore this fic. It's so complex, and so real. In an AU where John and Rodney met at Caltech, Rodney has lost his memory for reasons no-one can determine. Not just his personal memories, but a lot of his knowledge of the world at large as well. The only phone number he knows by muscle memory to dial is John's, and it's clear right off that things aren't good between them. We eventually find out why, as the narrative moves between the past and the present.

One of the most interesting things, at least for me, is how Rodney's memory loss isn't only a loss to himself. He's lost his history with his friends, his family, and they're affected by that almost as deeply. John has to navigate around potential landmines - he doesn't want to tell Rodney the bad things about himself - and Rodney has to figure out how to move forward when his personal history is so limited and he can no longer do the work he used to excel at. It all wraps up in a very satisfying way, and you should absolutely follow the link at the end to the Coda, which is so beautiful.

John's on his way to work when his cell phone rings. He doesn't recognize the number, which is generally a good indication that he doesn't want to speak to whoever's on the other end. One of these days he's going to kill Weir for giving his number out to PAs, but he's just not up for the battle today, so he hits the loudspeaker button and says, "This is Sheppard."

"Um," says the voice at the other end. It's Rodney. John could kick himself for not just chucking the damn phone out the window. "I don't ... really know what I'm doing, but--"

"No kidding," John snaps, shifting gears as he merges the Jetta left across the 405, phone clamped between his left hand and the steering wheel. "I've got a job, McKay, so I really don't have time for--"

There's a weird noise from over the speaker. "McKay?" Rodney says. "Is that ... I'm -- McKay?"

He sounds strange, sort of ... lost, and John holds up the phone to stare at it for a moment. "Are you drunk?" he asks suspiciously. "If you're calling me to play some solipsistic game of twenty questions--"

Rodney blurts out, "I'm in a hospital in Santa Barbara," and John wrenches his car across three lanes of traffic and leaves half the tread of his tires on the shoulder as he hits the brakes. "... Hello? Are you there? I heard--"

"I'm here," John says, heart pounding loudly as the traffic streaks by, horns blaring. "I'm here, just tell me what happened."

"I don't know," Rodney says, "I don't know, I've been here for days and I can't remember anything and this is the first number I--" He makes that choked sound again, and John suddenly realizes that Rodney's crying. "Can you ... can you tell me who I am?"

"You're Rodney," John says, "You're Rodney McKay, oh Jesus--"

"Can you come get me?" Rodney says, desperate and kind of broken, and John says, "Of course, of course I can," and "I'm John -- tell them John Sheppard is coming to get you," and he makes Rodney give the phone to a doctor, tells him Rodney's name and his own. He gets the address and plugs it into the GPS one-handed, and then Rodney's back on the phone and John has to promise him two more times before he'll hang up.

He's already northbound on 101 before he calls Weir ("But it's the Jolie-Pitts," she protests, and John snaps, "I don't care, family emergency, tell them to fly their own damn plane--"). He doesn't drop below 90 mph for the next hour, changing lanes like a maniac, and he makes it from L.A. to Santa Barbara in 67 minutes flat, 70 if you count the time it takes him to park his car and sprint across the lot.

Comments

[freekydj.livejournal.com]

Oh, I second this rec! It is an awesome story:)

[brumeier.livejournal.com]

It totally is!!

[sg-wonderland.livejournal.com]

I thank you for reintroducing me to this fic! I was never an Atlantis fan but this is just brilliant.

[brumeier.livejournal.com]

You're welcome! You don't even really need to know the characters to enjoy this, it's so well written.

[popkin16]

Is it weird I've never read this fic? I've thought about it! And my reasoning is totally stupid. But if you like it, maybe I should give it a try :)

[brumeier.livejournal.com]

It's very weird! LOL! Why haven't you, out of curiosity? It's sooooo good!

[popkin16]

It's a very stupid reason. A long time ago, I skimmed the fic (mistake #1, I know). And I got the impression that Rodney's old life was not good enough, so Rodney had to change - had to go into music instead of physics, for example - and I just hated the idea that Rodney had to change to get his happy ending. I was like, "Rodney is fine the way he is, and to imply otherwise is terrible." I remember there's a scene where Rodney meets his coworkers, or something, and was like, "What kind of an asshole was I?" And yeah, Rodney *is* an asshole, but so? I happen to love that asshole :P

Plus, to be honest, amnesia isn't a trope I'm super into. I usually skim until the person gets their memories back.

[mific.livejournal.com]

I also love this story very much. I don't think you need to be worried that the author thought Rodney needed a makeover, but he kind of has no choice but to reinvent himself - he's still very much himself and making his own decisions. Also, this isn't Atlantis Rodney. It's an AU, so this is Rodney on Earth, without the missions and team bonding that he learned so much from in Pegasus - instead, the amnesia is his big personal growth experience. The fic's also very much about John and Rodney's relationship, throughout. The medical details are reasonably accurate, although the cause of the amnesia's a mystery (well, I have a theory but I won't spoil you!). But memory's specialized and the part Rodney loses is his personal history - they call it autobiographical memory. He still knows what things are and retains his general knowledge, and his towering intellect. It's about him gradually figuring out who he was, and who he is now, and how John fits into that. I think it's one of the best in the fandom. The coda's gorgeous, and very hot.

[popkin16]

That does sound much more reasonable than the impression I was left with. I think Rodney learning and growing as a result of his amnesia is a very interesting take on the trope. I'll have to give this fic a try, and not let preconceived notions scare me off.

[mific.livejournal.com]

Oh, and the index post has some extra goodies :) http://fiercelydreamed.livejournal.com/8714.html

[popkin16]

Ooo, thanks for letting me know :D

[that-which.livejournal.com]

I can see where you would have gotten that, but it struck me really differently.

I don't know if we ever really found out what happened, but I read it as Rodney having built his self-concept so much around what he'd convinced himself he couldn't have that he had to let that entire framework go before he succeeded in taking everything away from himself.

And, now that I'm writing it down, I don't even know if that makes any sense. I guess I'm saying that it's not being Rodney he loses. It's being Rodney in a particular context he needed to escape.

[popkin16]

I guess this is what I get for skimming :) I'll definitely have to actually read it, see if I get a different impression. I think I get what you mean - Rodney needed to lose some stuff to get to a better place in his life.

[that-which.livejournal.com]

Well, if you're gonna put it in clear, uncomplicated english like that... ;)

I do think you put your finger on a main theme, though, because pretty much the central question for everyone is what about Rodney is essentially Rodney, and how those things express themselves in a situation where he has no preconceptions about himself.

[popkin16]

LOL You're the one that book it in a way I could understand XD

I can get behind Rodney finding a way to live a happier life~

[brumeier.livejournal.com]

Skimming bad! Reading good! ::grins:: I'm glad you're going to give it another try. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised.

[popkin16]

LOL You and that_which have convinced me. Clearly I've been operating under the wrong impression~

[brumeier.livejournal.com]

I'm glad we could help you see the error of your ways. ::smirks:: Fandom peer pressure for the win! \o/

[popkin16]

This is the kind of peer pressure I'm happy to give in to!

[brumeier.livejournal.com]

That totally makes sense. And I think it's a really good observation. When you get to the end, you can see that even as his old self Rodney could've had a chance for a happy ending. I like to think it was always in the cards for him.

Losing all his preconceived notions about himself, about the way the world worked for him, only helped him get there faster.

[kisahawklin]

This is my number one favorite SGA fic of all time. Great rec.

[brumeier.livejournal.com]

It really is so well done. ::nods::