stargateficrec | Sight Unseen by Brumeier [M]

Show: SGA

Rec Category: Sheppard/McKay
Characters: John Sheppard, Rodney McKay
Pairings: Sheppard/McKay
Categories: Angst, First Time, Hurt/Comfort, Mystery, Slash
Warnings: None
Author on AO3: Brumeier
Link: Sight Unseen Three chapters linked at AO3

Why This Must Be Read:

John and Rodney, both suffering from PTSD, help each other to find some peace in their broken worlds. It's a lovely, slow mystery to romance that makes no bones about the fact that they are both damaged yet they still manage to fit together.

John woke up in the middle of the night, drenched in sweat and panting. He pressed his hand over his heart, trying to keep it from bursting right out of his chest. He forced himself to take deep breaths, forced himself to listen for the sound of the waves through his open window. He glanced at the nightstand, faintly illuminated by the LED nightlight plugged in across the room, and briefly contemplated taking an Ambien. Once he calmed himself down he decided not to; he didn’t like how they made him feel the next day.

With a sigh he shuffled into the bathroom, splashed some cold water on his face, and stripped off the damp t-shirt. He stood there for a while, hands braced on the sink, and studied his reflection in the mirror. Shadows under his eyes stood out starkly against his pale skin. His hair, which was always just a little too long, stood up in wild spikes.

“You look like crap,” John told himself.

He turned off the bathroom light and didn’t even give his bed a backward glance as he headed downstairs; he wouldn’t be able to get back to sleep. He headed for the kitchen, wood floors cool beneath his bare feet, and poured himself a glass of water from the tap. There were nightlights in every room and he tried hard not to feel self-conscious about them; his former therapist had always told him that he had to cut himself some slack.

John wandered into the study, digging his toes into the thick carpet as soon as he crossed the threshold. He flicked on the overhead light, blinking for a minute as his eyes adjusted, and then opened the closet door. There was a box shoved in the back corner, he’d noticed it earlier, and having nothing better to do he pulled it out and set it on the desk.

There were no markings on the outside of the box, and just one strip of packing tape holding it closed. He peeled the tape off and looked inside. He didn’t know what he was hoping for, but more books seemed a bit anticlimactic considering the vast amounts of the printed word just in this one room alone. John pulled them out anyway, grinning when he saw what they were. The Science of Star Wars. The Complete Star Wars Encyclopedia. USS Enterprise Haynes Manual. The Star Trek Encyclopedia. The Real Science of Time Travel. He wondered why they were packed away instead of out on the shelves.

The last book in the box was a leather bound journal. John sat down behind the desk and shoved the other books off to the side. He had a moment to question whether or not he should even open it, but he couldn’t help being curious about the contents. He decided that if it was something too personal he’d pack it away and forget about it, and opened to the first page.

This is the private journal of Dr. M. Rodney McKay, PhD, PhD. Under no circumstances do I authorize this to be published – that’s what my professional journals are for and I’ll find a way to sue your ass from beyond the grave so save yourself the aggravation and just…don’t.