stargateficrec | The Knife's Edge by the

Show: SGA
Rec Category: Sheppard/McKay
Characters:: Rodney McKay, John Sheppard
Pairing: Sheppard/McKay
Het/Slash/Gen: Slash
Warnings: Highlight: Implied Character Death
Author on LJ:

the_moonmoth
Author's Website:
Link: The Knife's Edge
Author's DVD Commentary

Why This Must Be Read:

There is clever misdirection in this tale told non-linearly, Rodney's adventures in a parallel universe. It's sad with a thread of hope for the future woven through.

Excerpt:

'John?' Rodney asks, staring in horror, 'What are you doing?'

For a split-second John gets a wide-eyed, trapped-animal look, and then it melts away into dark anger. 'What? You think it meant something? A couple of fucks and I'm under your thumb?' John strides up to him. Grabbing him by the shoulders, he leans in. 'I'm not yours,' he spits, shaking Rodney a little. 'I never was.' Above them, the ceiling is shaking with him. Around them, everything is shaking.

Rodney thinks, he's lying. A second later he realises that no, he isn't.

There's a booming in his ears. John's eyes never waver from his, dangerous, alight. 'Get the hell out of my world, McKay.' The words are hot; his face, eyes, the explosion.

Turning, leaving John behind, Rodney thinks, it's like the end of the world.

~

'Rodney, I'll be frank,' Elizabeth says. 'I'm worried about you, and I'm not the only one.'

'You haven't been going to your sessions,' she says. 'I could make them compulsory, you know.'

She says, 'Rodney, you have to talk about what happened sometime. It's starting to affect your work.'

She sighs, slumps a little, rubs her forehead. 'Colonel Sheppard-'

'Stop, Elizabeth. Just... please stop.'

*

Rodney rolls onto his side and smiles sleepily. 'Hey,' he says.

'Hey,' John replies, smiling gently back at him. It's a softening of the mouth, but mostly it's in the eyes, and Rodney realises how rarely he's seen John smile like that. Like he's truly happy. The depth of it makes Rodney's heart clench.

He reaches out and runs his fingertips down John's cheek and along his jaw, down his neck and along his bare flank. His hand looks pale against John's skin, turned golden in the dim yellow light. He spreads his fingers out on John's side, feeling his warmth, trying to absorb it.

When he looks back up, the smile has faded and John is watching him with intense dark eyes. 'Come here,' he says, pulling Rodney closer, and holds him so tightly as he kisses him and kisses him, as though he's afraid Rodney is going to disappear.

~

'McKay,' John says. Sheppard says. The distinction seems small after everything that's happened. Ridiculously small. And yet he suspects it's the only thing keeping him from falling off the knife's edge.

'Colonel,' Rodney replies, terse, impatient. It's only half for show.

Sheppard looks him over, face neutral. 'Everything okay?'

'Yes, yes, fine,' Rodney mutters, turning back to his work. He's so definitely busy.

Sheppard doesn't say anything for what feels like a long time. When he speaks again, it startles Rodney a little. 'Okay,' is all he says, and turns to go, but a troubled expression is flickering across his face, somewhere just out of sight.

...